The Beast Called Hair

Something that has always been a struggle for me is maintaining my hair. My hair, in its natural state, is extremely curly, puffy, and sometimes knotty. It can frequently be a hassle, especially when it is wet, hot, humid, or foggy outside. After a long process of taming it, it can become more manageable through two ways: through applying heat or using “hair protective styles.”

Applying Heat

As it sounds, applying heat simply involves blow drying and/or straightening the hair. This process can vary depending on the length and kind of curl pattern a woman has. Personally, it takes me a total of three hours to get my hair washed and combed, blow dried, and straightened. Because of the knotty nature of African-American hair, combing and blow drying it takes up most of the time. The advantage to doing this is that it is much simpler and easier to wake up and have your hair styled. The disadvantage is that maintaining the straight hair-do is only possible if preventative measures are made to avoid water contact and humidity, which are sometimes inevitable.

Hair Protective Styles

There are numerous ways to style my hair so that it can maximize its moisture and health without heat. Applying heat too often is very damaging to the hair, therefore during a time when I know there’s a high chance of my hair becoming puffy, I choose to not straighten it because it won’t last long. However, braiding, twisting, or wearing my hair natural will allow it to remain in a healthy state. The advantage to this is method is that heat is minimized and it actually helps the hair grow. The disadvantage, on the contrary, is that to keep these hair styles nice, usually extra work would need to put it in. For example, when I twist my hair at night, in the morning I would need to wet it to make the curls look their best. 

One thing that I have noticed over the years is that I tend to worry about the little details when it comes to ensuring that my hair doesn’t get messed up. I often limit myself from swimming and water rides, and if I do swim, I don’t go under the water. I also have to wear a shower cap in the shower and sleep with a bonnet to bed every day (to keep my hair from puffing from the sweat we all accumulate at night). I also tend to style my hair differently depending on the time of year, factoring in the weather conditions and the season. For example, I would use hair protective styles during the month of July, considering the fact that it is summer time, I want to swim, and it tends to be humid and muggy. Here's a picture of me last July (my hair wasn't freshly twisted but this was the only recent one I could find).

Until recently, I have worn my hair straight for most of my life, especially in the winter. I have had sporadic moments of braiding it and wearing it natural, but i’ve never committed to any long-term hair protective style. 

Being at Penn State has changed my hair habits drastically. Due to the constant walking outside to classes, my hair always gets curly immediately after I straighten it, which is why, on most days, I wear it in a pony tail. 

What are your daily hair routines (sorry guys this may not include you)? Are there any specific challenges that you face?

Does Race Play a Role Within Parental Punishment?

During a casual conversation this week, me and some friends, some of whom were Caucasian, discussed the differences within parenting styles when it comes to African-American families versus Caucasian families. Topics about hitting children, having a curfew, and cursing at parents came up in the form of questions like these:

• What would be the typical punishment that your parents would use when you were wrong?
• What was your curfew?
• What would be the response of your parents if you cursed at them, or talked back?

The majority of the responses from my Caucasian friends were the opposite of what me and some of the African-Americans had been used to, which opened my eyes to some differences within handling children across various races. After reading this, I hope you guys will discuss similarities and differences within your upbringing, as I am genuinely curious about the role that race can play within various parenting styles.

When asking about the usual punishment that my friend’s parents would rely on, it would vary depending on the “wrong,” which is pretty expectable. For example, one of my Caucasian friends noted that if she got detention in school, she would be talked to about it briefly, but still have the ability to watch TV, use her phone, and hang out with friends. However, if she yelled at her mom rudely, her mom would “ground” her for a day and basically ignore her. On the contrary, an African-American in the discussion mentioned that her parents would probably “ground” her for getting detention; however, she would be “spanked” or “beat” for yelling at her parents. 

We all watched a video from Twitter of a little boy smacking his mom on Dr. Phil and getting no consequence for it.

After watching and discussing this with friends, this apparently isn’t far off from how Caucasian children treat their parents. I noticed the great difference within the established rules and strictness that I experienced versus a Caucasian when I heard my Caucasian friends mention that they had no curfew and often cursed at their parents when upset. I personally wasn’t allowed to even sleep over other people’s houses until I was in high school, and even then my mother needed to “know” the parents well. Once I got to high school, I had to put my phone downstairs every night by 9:30 pm or else i’d be “grounded.”

The idea of “spanking” kids to teach them a lesson, having strict rules and an early curfew, cursing in front of and at parents, and talking back are all key differences that have been brought to light after the conversation. In African-American families, there seems to be a value of “teaching lessons” through hitting, extreme punishment, and no second chances. In Caucasian families, there seems to be a value of reasoning with kids, letting them have “their space,” and letting them learn by hurting themselves. 

Stereotypical Non-sense

To me, a stereotype is essentially an overgeneralization about characteristics of a group of people or collective things. Obviously, stereotypes are solely a social construct, resulting from  initial prejudice and discrimination against specific groups of people. I think Javier Bardem said it best:

                       http://www.justjared.com/2016/02/08/penelope-cruz-joins-javier-bardem-at-goya-cinema-awards-2016/

“I don't believe in stereotypes. Most of the time, stereotypes are just that.” 

  Here is a short list of some stereotypes that have directly impacted my life:

                     African-American women are loud.

                                https://www.theodysseyonline.com/african-american-women-stereotypes

A lot of movies portray African-American women as loud, rude, obnoxious, and “extra” when it comes to drama, associating them with fighting and arguing. I know African-American women who act like this and some who don’t, so I personally wouldn’t say this is true all the time. I have noticed that if I yell or am loud about something, I am the one picked out and seen to be the “bully” or “offender.” One time, during cheerleading practice, a girl was yelling at me because I made a mistake with the stunt. In response, I yelled at her back; however, everyone thought I was wrong. There’s more of a fear associated with a black person yelling at someone, which could be a main reason why a lot of people think we start problems or are overreacting.

                            African-Americans are unintelligent. 

                   http://www.blackenterprise.com/news/detroit-schools-in-danger-of-closing/

Blacks are seen to be less intelligent than whites, asians, and indians so much so that Ivy Leagues expect a lower score from blacks and would make a 2100 on SAT from an asian equivalent to a 1800 from an African-American. A family friend on the executive board for admission to Dartmouth shared this information with me. Blacks are around two thousand years behind whites when it comes to learning and being able to earn an education. Obviously this is due to the fact that blacks were slaves while whites became intelligent over time because of longer experience within the education system. I went through a phase in middle school where I was pretty discouraged about trying hard in school because I would ask myself, “what’s the point?” As I mentioned in my last blog post, I have had teachers assume that I was going to fail in the advanced classes and assumed that I wouldn’t be as smart as the white students.

                                            African-Americans are “ghetto.”

                                  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghetto (first picture to come up for “ghetto” in google)

Many people assume that African-Americans come from a lower-class or middle-class family. For the past few years, I lived in a gated community called Maple Lawn, where the majority of the residents were white, upper-middle class or upper class. A lot of my friends would say things like “wow, you must be rich if you live in Maple Lawn,” yet if another white or asian student said they lived there he or she wouldn’t get any attention because they would be considered the norm. People are generally more surprised if they find out that an African-American is living in a nice home and has a nice car. One night me and my boyfriend’s family went out to dinner in Baltimore and his dad drove us in his Tesla. As soon as we stepped outside of the car, a white family looked at the car and shockingly said, “how were you able to afford that?” Offensive as this was, it serves as a perfect example of the stereotype. 

Have any of you heard of these stereotypes before? Have you actively discriminated someone because of it, even non-intentionally? What are some stereotypes you think others have of you?