Does Race Play a Role Within Parental Punishment?

During a casual conversation this week, me and some friends, some of whom were Caucasian, discussed the differences within parenting styles when it comes to African-American families versus Caucasian families. Topics about hitting children, having a curfew, and cursing at parents came up in the form of questions like these:

• What would be the typical punishment that your parents would use when you were wrong?
• What was your curfew?
• What would be the response of your parents if you cursed at them, or talked back?

The majority of the responses from my Caucasian friends were the opposite of what me and some of the African-Americans had been used to, which opened my eyes to some differences within handling children across various races. After reading this, I hope you guys will discuss similarities and differences within your upbringing, as I am genuinely curious about the role that race can play within various parenting styles.

When asking about the usual punishment that my friend’s parents would rely on, it would vary depending on the “wrong,” which is pretty expectable. For example, one of my Caucasian friends noted that if she got detention in school, she would be talked to about it briefly, but still have the ability to watch TV, use her phone, and hang out with friends. However, if she yelled at her mom rudely, her mom would “ground” her for a day and basically ignore her. On the contrary, an African-American in the discussion mentioned that her parents would probably “ground” her for getting detention; however, she would be “spanked” or “beat” for yelling at her parents. 

We all watched a video from Twitter of a little boy smacking his mom on Dr. Phil and getting no consequence for it.

After watching and discussing this with friends, this apparently isn’t far off from how Caucasian children treat their parents. I noticed the great difference within the established rules and strictness that I experienced versus a Caucasian when I heard my Caucasian friends mention that they had no curfew and often cursed at their parents when upset. I personally wasn’t allowed to even sleep over other people’s houses until I was in high school, and even then my mother needed to “know” the parents well. Once I got to high school, I had to put my phone downstairs every night by 9:30 pm or else i’d be “grounded.”

The idea of “spanking” kids to teach them a lesson, having strict rules and an early curfew, cursing in front of and at parents, and talking back are all key differences that have been brought to light after the conversation. In African-American families, there seems to be a value of “teaching lessons” through hitting, extreme punishment, and no second chances. In Caucasian families, there seems to be a value of reasoning with kids, letting them have “their space,” and letting them learn by hurting themselves.